When I was diagnosed with cancer my whole life was shattered! I was deeply worried for my husband, both my daughters Adelynn then aged 15 and Audrey who was just 5 and also my son Aaron aged 11. What will happen to them? I would say that I was certainly in a state of shock...
Praise the Lord for blessing me with such a loving husband and children and also my brothers and sisters in laws as well as both my mum and dad plus my siblings ie brothers and sister. With their moral support and love for me I managed to finish my cancer treatment. It was certainly a scary and uncertain episode of my life and I could only take it to the Lord in prayer everytime I undergo a test.
I came to accept Christ after my prayer was answered. I had been praying for light and I made a challenge that if I see this special light then only will I go to church. My prayer was answered when I was resting after my exercise at the Taman Tun Dr Ismail park. As usual I had my eyes closed and was praying for an answer. Suddenly I could visualize the sky opening up and a bright ray of light was shining down onto me from my head to toes. No.....it cannot be, I thought to myself. I tried to open my eyes to see but it was so bright that I just could not! It was gone after a short while and when I could finally open my eyes to gaze at the sky I could see the sun with my bare eyes.
I took on the challenge and went to church with my daughter Adelynn. I am glad to say that my two other children also went along with me. From that day onwards I began to embark on my life's journey with the guidance of God.
On 26th November 2006 I was given this special opportunity to receive the Holy Spirit when Pastor Ben came to our church and prayed for me. I was so touched that I was crying when the Holy Spirit entered me and I could feel warmth inside me and my whole body just felt lifted.....its a feeling that cannot be expresssed by mere words - as if all the worries and pain and sufferings were all taken away from me! I was told that my name has been written in the Book of Life and my prayers have been answered. I felt like a lost sheep that has been wandering about all these years that had finally found its way HOME!
I continue to build my relationship and faith in God by putting my trust completely in Him. I was able to learn more through bible studies with Sister Poh Wha and Brother Tong's Cell Group and also the Alpha Course.
I have just finished the 3rd week of my Alpha Course and am glad that I am able to share my experiences with other non believers. Its something that cannot be explained and cannot be forced into. Its a relationship and trust plus faith that you have to work upon by prayers that made this special unexplained feeling to happen!
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Surgeries
2006.. life has been a roller coaster.
I had to undergo several operations month after month from June to August. Was supposed to be a happy occasion when I went for my 1st operation for reconstruction surgery after my mastectomy in 2001 but due to radiotherapy my skin was damaged and could not stretch properly and I had to undergo a 2nd operation to re-adjust the implant in August. July was the month my gynae discovered something in my uterus and I was advised to do a D & C. Polyps were removed from my uterus. The results were not good coz the polyps were found to be hyperplasia eg pre-cancerous. Another operation again this time in August to remove my uterus and ovaries completely.
Its not easy and about a month after this operation I was set into depression. I guess my hormones were not balanced and I was having very negative thoughts. Thinking back its actually very funny that such a thing should happen to someone like me...a very positve-thinking person but I have been warned by my gynae that it does happen. I cried and cried and cried (hey... I have never done so much crying before in my life) in the presence of my husband one night and then everything was over! My gynae said I was lucky coz I went in and out of IT equally fast! I am glad and thank God that all that depression thing is over and after what I had experienced I know how it feels when a person gets depressed especially after menopause.
Sometime in November however I felt unwell again. This time its because of my gall stones. Yes...I know I have gall stones (probably 5 years ago). Have been doing my yearly ultra-sound scan and its there all the time. My oncologist advised me just to leave it if it is not bothering me and I just followed his advice. The attack that came in November was terrible...I was vomitting and cannot eat and was having this painful gastric pain. Had to go to the Emergency Dept at Pantai Hospital Bangsar but after a jab by the doctor I was well. Hence no action was done on my part. I don't want to undergo another operation after such a major one just 3 months ago!
Life went on as usual and then suddenly the gall stones attacked me again about 3 weeks before Chinese New Year 2007. This time around I did not vomit but I was having great pain in my tummy. I did not know how I survived these painful episodes but I guess the Lord gave me strength through my prayers. Persistent and excruciating pain prevents me from sleeping at night and I could only pray in times like these until I fall asleep. I finally went for my gall bladder operation on the 15th February 2007. It was supposed to be a key-hole surgery but due to complications I had to be cut open and now I have five holes and a six inch wound. My gall bladder was inflamed and infected and had pus in it! And guess what...the stone or rather the boulder as my surgeon called it was the size of a rubber seed! Its certainly BIG!
This roller coaster ride of mine is like never ending. My water-proof plaster leaked and water went in. Being naive I dare not open up the plaster to dry it first before going back to the hospital for dressing. Hence water must have seeped in and a few days after my stitches were removed my wound had infection. I had to go to the hospital daily for dressing for 5 times before it was completely dried up. Due to this infection I now have keloids (I hope I spelled it correctly) in my wound and it looks exactly like a centipede! I am now into my 6th week after my operation and I am glad to say that I am recovering well...
I had to undergo several operations month after month from June to August. Was supposed to be a happy occasion when I went for my 1st operation for reconstruction surgery after my mastectomy in 2001 but due to radiotherapy my skin was damaged and could not stretch properly and I had to undergo a 2nd operation to re-adjust the implant in August. July was the month my gynae discovered something in my uterus and I was advised to do a D & C. Polyps were removed from my uterus. The results were not good coz the polyps were found to be hyperplasia eg pre-cancerous. Another operation again this time in August to remove my uterus and ovaries completely.
Its not easy and about a month after this operation I was set into depression. I guess my hormones were not balanced and I was having very negative thoughts. Thinking back its actually very funny that such a thing should happen to someone like me...a very positve-thinking person but I have been warned by my gynae that it does happen. I cried and cried and cried (hey... I have never done so much crying before in my life) in the presence of my husband one night and then everything was over! My gynae said I was lucky coz I went in and out of IT equally fast! I am glad and thank God that all that depression thing is over and after what I had experienced I know how it feels when a person gets depressed especially after menopause.
Sometime in November however I felt unwell again. This time its because of my gall stones. Yes...I know I have gall stones (probably 5 years ago). Have been doing my yearly ultra-sound scan and its there all the time. My oncologist advised me just to leave it if it is not bothering me and I just followed his advice. The attack that came in November was terrible...I was vomitting and cannot eat and was having this painful gastric pain. Had to go to the Emergency Dept at Pantai Hospital Bangsar but after a jab by the doctor I was well. Hence no action was done on my part. I don't want to undergo another operation after such a major one just 3 months ago!
Life went on as usual and then suddenly the gall stones attacked me again about 3 weeks before Chinese New Year 2007. This time around I did not vomit but I was having great pain in my tummy. I did not know how I survived these painful episodes but I guess the Lord gave me strength through my prayers. Persistent and excruciating pain prevents me from sleeping at night and I could only pray in times like these until I fall asleep. I finally went for my gall bladder operation on the 15th February 2007. It was supposed to be a key-hole surgery but due to complications I had to be cut open and now I have five holes and a six inch wound. My gall bladder was inflamed and infected and had pus in it! And guess what...the stone or rather the boulder as my surgeon called it was the size of a rubber seed! Its certainly BIG!
This roller coaster ride of mine is like never ending. My water-proof plaster leaked and water went in. Being naive I dare not open up the plaster to dry it first before going back to the hospital for dressing. Hence water must have seeped in and a few days after my stitches were removed my wound had infection. I had to go to the hospital daily for dressing for 5 times before it was completely dried up. Due to this infection I now have keloids (I hope I spelled it correctly) in my wound and it looks exactly like a centipede! I am now into my 6th week after my operation and I am glad to say that I am recovering well...
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